To the person who searched for ‘climber single mama’ and found my blog – will you come climbing with me?
Today was perfect climbing weather.
I need a climbing buddy. Somebody with a sense of humour.
Somebody who can understand that I’m effectively a beginner again.
Somebody who doesn’t have to lose skin or risk their life to feel like it was a good day on the rock.
I want to conquer a few climbs, and conquer my fears again. I want strong fingers, and muscles in both arms – not just the baby-carrying one.
I don’t want to go hard OR go home.
I just want to climb.
December 24 Prompt – Everything’s OK
What was the best moment that could serve as proof that everything is going to be alright? And how will you incorporate that discovery into the year ahead?
(Author: Kate Inglis)
I woke up. I woke up by myself, to light streaming in the window. It was early morning, but not the crack of dawn, and I was startled to realise I had woken up naturally. There wasn’t a sound from the baby. I did the automatic arithmetic in my head – how many hours had he slept? – but realised he hadn’t squawked all night.
Sudden jubilation was replaced by an equally sudden panic – was something was wrong? Just in time to quell my fears, he grumbled and stirred. I got out of bed with a big smile on my face.
We didn’t need any help to get through our day, or our nights.
We were both okay, and in that moment I knew it completely.
December 23 – New Name
Let’s meet again, for the first time. If you could introduce yourself to strangers by another name for just one day, what would it be and why?
(Author: Becca Wilcott)
I’m blessed with a complicated first name. It’s phonetic and easy to spell, but there are many, many similar names, and nobody hears it or spells it right the first time.
So if I got to choose another name, it would be Sam or Julie – something everyone can spell.
December 22 – Travel
How did you travel in 2010? How and/or where would you like to travel next year?
(Author: Tara Hunt)
I have a gypsy soul.
If I won the lottery tomorrow, I wouldn’t judge the prize against my mortgage, I wouldn’t start day dreaming about a shiny new Audi – I’d be counting how many round the world tickets I could buy. Or maybe how many months I could afford to live in Spain, Morocco or Thailand.
Things are a little different now. It’s not so easy to cut and run, but I still have dreams.
The big dream for this year is Africa. That was actually the big dream for 2009, but I was big and fat and pregnant, and had to put it aside.
This year I might just have the time and money to pull it off.
Tomorrow the baby and I fly home for Christmas. There will be lights and trees and presents and too much food and too many relatives. There will be hugs and kisses and laughter. I am sure there will be many, many photos.
This post about Christmas for Heathens brought some peace to my heart.
So for all you choose-your-own-adventures kinda spirituality people, have a look.
Don’t kid yourself, it’s been a bitch of a year. And no matter how you re-badge things to ‘the year of radical change’ and ‘a chance to find more inspirational work’ – you aren’t done grieving yet.
Looking back, I’m amazed how well you coped, at how compassionate and fair you could be from the midst of your pain. At the same time, you connected with your mama bear self, and learnt to advocate fiercely for your baby and yourself. You learnt to be strong without apology, and that is a wonderful thing.
However, I need to warn you about what’s to come. It feels like the biggest hurdles are behind you, and that’s kind of true. You feel like you deserve a break, and that’s never been more true. But there is the temptation now to collapse in a heap and wallow, and you mustn’t give in to that. Because I know you, and you might never dig yourself out of that wallow again.
2011 has the potential to be the best year yet. But you have to get out, and get into it. Start many, many new things – don’t worry about finishing right now, just try everything. You chose ‘explore’ as the word of the year, so go out and live it.
By the end of the year, you won’t recognise your life. You and that beautiful boy will be living dreams that you haven’t even thought of yet, and reviving some that you thought were long gone.
Be brave! Push out into the blue!
with so much love and admiration,
your future self.