December 16 – Friendship
How has a friend changed you or your perspective on the world this year? Was this change gradual, or a sudden burst?
(Author: Martha Mihalick)
I’ve written about how I’m not good at sharing the bad stuff, and this year I learnt to spill it.
As I started to tell my friends that my marriage was over, it felt like admitting a failure. I kept waiting for someone to tell me off, shut me down, tell me it was all my fault. To be honest, I kinda wanted that – I thought that if I knew what I’d done wrong, maybe I could still fix it.
I half expected people to just walk away. After all, the person who’d spent ten years by my side, who knew me best, no longer loved me. If he couldn’t love me, who would?
But that’s not how it turned out.
Every time I opened up, a miracle happened. My friends were shocked, and sad, but over and over I heard words I really needed to hear. Often, I wasn’t ready to believe – that this was not my fault, that there were better things waiting for me, that we had really tried and it was time to let it go.
My friends and my family have been so fiercely loyal and so strongly supportive, that they’ve dragged me kicking and screaming out of my shell. I’ve had to pull all my hurts out into the open, and examine what I really believe to be true. I’ve looked back with their eyes, and seen that no single person could be responsible for everything I held to be my fault. Through them, I’ve seen how loved I really am, just as I am. And that they love me more for showing them the bad stuff.
I didn’t mean to write something quite so sappy today. But honestly? I love my friends. I wouldn’t have made it through this year without them.