The year of radical change

I hereby dub 2010 my Year of Radical Change.

I started out a new mother, with a baby only 14 days old.  I do not remember New Year’s Day at all.  In July, when the baby was refusing to sleep for more than 45 minutes at a time, I became a single mother.  I don’t remember much of that month, either.  But I remember that conversation.

Now, with the end of the year in sight, I am becoming an unemployed single mother.  A day after returning to work, I’ve been made redundant.  That was one meeting I don’t think I’ll ever forget.


what next?



4 responses to “The year of radical change

  1. (hugs) kazari…wish I could think of something more useful to say/do

  2. That just sucks so bad. I hope you have some kind of support network of friends and family.
    Amongst all the horrible things, one particular thing struck me: “a baby” and “the baby” – not “my baby” or its name. As a former PND sufferer myself I was wondering if you have talked to someone about depression. God knows you have many reasons to be depressed. And baby-induced hormones can make it worse. I didn’t even have any external reasons to be depressed, yet for the first 10 months of my daughter’s life I was in a black hole. And for some reason breastfeeding made it worse, every time I fed her I had horrible fantasies about “accidents” happening to her.
    So, just a thought, with all this stuff going on, even if you don’t have PND or depression, please make sure you have someone to talk to. If you are too embarrassed to tell friends and family what you are really feeling, seek out a professional. I’m pretty sure PANDSI is free.

  3. Pingback: Big words | On the end of my rope

  4. 2010 has certainly been your annus horribilis !
    may 2011 pour so many blessings on you and your little one
    you deserve it

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