I’ve written before that pregnancy feels like a slowing-down and a sinking-in. I dwell very much within my body, which is an odd experience for one used to living in her head.
I sleep a lot. I read a lot. I eat simple. It takes all day to do three small things.
It’s hard to move back from this physical space and consult my spirit. My spirit is pre-occupied. In my mind I see her drifting around the baby’s room, re-folding things and humming to herself. She doesn’t seem that interested in me.
She’s easily distracted, my spirit. She is entranced by small birds and soft rain, but if you ask her to contemplate big stuff, like birth plans and life goals and SERIOUS DECISIONS, she is evasive. She wants to know what I think, or what is practical. And after everything is decided, she’ll stand there, eyes down, kicking the ground and say “Oh, but wouldn’t it have been nice if…”
So I’m having trouble with Jamie’s wish today. I can’t tell you what my spirit is wishing for, until she comes back for a visit. But I can guess. I think she’s impatient to meet this new baby of ours, although I suspect she already knows them better than she’s letting on. Beyond that, I know she has her heart set on a whimsical Christmas, one with lots of joy and surprise.
So here’s my wish: I’m wishing for a whimsical, spirit-satisfying Christmas, for our little family, and also for yours.