I am feeling pretty joyous and excited about the changes in my life. Maybe because the baby is giving me happy hormones, maybe because this is truly the path I’m meant for, or maybe, as one of my friends says, I’m basically an upbeat person.
But as we look to the end of the year, I’m looking back at January. I look at where I thought I was going, and where I am now – and the difference is breath-taking.
I was grieving for some of the dreams that haven’t come to be. My family has headed off to Africa without me. Climbing has fallen by the wayside, as has my food blog stuff. I’m not very sad about these things, I can always pick them up again later, but I was left with a niggling sense of guilt.
I felt like I hadn’t done very much this year.
I’d been avoiding looking at that ambitious List Tab at the top of my blog. It seemed to belong to a less pregnant, less tired, more adventurous person. It didn’t seem all that relevant.
Finally, yesterday, I revisited that list. And while some of it is definitely outside my current focus (the roof of the climbing gym? I can’t even fit in my harness!) I’ve done more stuff than I thought. Here are some of the things I can cross off:
- Go on a picnic. (Maybe another one on Saturday, just for good measure)
- Try 10 new restaurants.
- Grow strawberries. (They all died, but we DID try)
- Move into our house.
- Have a veggie patch. This is mostly Ryan’s achievement, but I’m ticking it off anyway.
- Have an emergency fund. It’s really a maternity leave fund, but I think the principle’s the same.
- Get a new computer. I did this when I went back to study! I’d completely forgotten it was on the list.
- Build a compost bin. I have a compost heap – I think that counts.
So even when I’m not paying attention to the things I thought I wanted, I’m still getting them done. If nothing else, my list of 101 things has made me celebrate the small wins alongside the big ones.
Who thought I’d be proud of my compost heap?