Embracing the unknown

I’m having a very teary day today.  Was it on Jen Lee’s blog that I read ‘Faith is forward motion’?  Today I’m having trouble moving.

I’m not really worried about the baby coming… that feels like inevitability now.  There’s just so many unknowns. Christmas is impenetrable – will there be two or three of us?  If the baby comes by then, will my mum be here?  What sort of food should I be planning?  I’m usually excited about Christmas plans by now, but this year it seems I can’t make any.

I don’t even know when I’ll start maternity leave.  It sounds conceited, but I’m not sure how things will run without me.  There’s a few technical things I haven’t been able to hand over properly.  My manager has even discussed me working from home for a while, before the baby comes.  This makes me nervous… I’d rather just be done with it.

My body is changing so rapidly at the moment, I’m no longer sure what I’ll be able to do from day to day.  Sitting at my desk – or just sitting still anywhere – is increasingly difficult.  The baby is making it’s presence felt.  I’m wishing more and more I knew if it was a boy or a girl, because it seems increasingly inappropriate for such a strong presence to have no name.

I know this attitude isn’t helping.  I know I need to find a way to move forward, despite all the what if’s.

So that’s my wish for this week: I wish to embrace the unknown.

What are you wishing for?

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15 responses to “Embracing the unknown

  1. A fabulous wish for you, Kazari, and how insightful of you to know how much you need to embrace the unknown. This is an important message for all of us because we never know what will transpire from minute to minute to day to day. Let Go and Let God.

    As Kazari wishes for herself, so I wish for her too.

  2. A fabulous wish indeed!

    As Kazari wishes for herself, so I wish for her too.

  3. As lovely pregnant Kazari wishes for herself, so I wish for her also 🙂

  4. As Kazari wishes for herself, so I wish for her too.

  5. As Kazari wishes for herself, so I wish for her too.

  6. Oooooh, great wish and very insightful of you to recognize what you need most.

    As Kazari wishes for herself, so I wish for her also.

  7. As Kazari wishes for herself, so I blissfully wish for her also.

  8. As Kazari wishes for herself, so I wish for her also, may it be so. Wishing you peace as you embrace the unknown.

  9. As Kazari wishes for herself, so I blissfully wish for her also.

  10. As Kazari wishes for herself, so I wish for her as well. As you will it, so may it be!

  11. as you wish , I also wish for you

    embrace the unknown and live in the now

  12. As Kazari wishes for herself, so I wish for her also.
    First time mommyhood is full of unknowns and then … you know. At the exact moment you need it, you´ll know. 🙂

  13. As Kazari wishes for herself, so I wish for her also.
    ~have faith and embrace the unknown

  14. As Kazari wishes for herself, so I wish for her also. I’m new to wishcasting and I relate completely to your worries about the unknown. It helps me to remember that I am the space in which everything around me takes place – and this makes me bigger than my greatest worry. I’m wishing for you too! Blessings …

  15. Me too! I’m due Dec 20th. I am so uncomfortable in any position really. The holidays… ugh. My parents will be here. There’s no way to tell when our babies will be here though and that can be such a stressful thought. I wish the same for both of us…and you are NOT alone!

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