Daring to believe

Sorry everybody, this one’s a long one.

Ryan and I went away for the weekend.  We went to Bowral, and stayed in a beautiful B&B.  We didn’t explore the region, we didn’t watch the Highland Fling (a big mountain bike event) and we didn’t get to the Berrima Lolly Shop at all.

We spent two whole days at a workshop called CalmBirth.

I’ve always wanted kids.  I grew up in a big family, I spent time babysitting and nannying and messing around with scouts.  I like kids and while I found the whole idea of parenting daunting, it was something that I totally expected to do one day.

Childbirth, on the other hand, seemed completely horrifying.  You were going to squeeze what through where?  How could that be good for either of us??  All that pain, all those bodily fluids and the plain physical brutality that seemed to be involved… and that was before I worked for a neo-natal doctor, who knew every bad birthing story under the sun.  Working for her put me off children for at least ten years.  And eleven years later I find I’m pregnant.

It’s not much fun in the hospital ante-natal class, when the midwife’s first comment is “I’m not going to bullshit you, you’re going to be in a lot of pain.  Maybe more pain than you’ve felt in your life.”

Thankfully, I’m not just going to the hospital to find out about birth.  My beautiful yoga teacher has been teaching us breathing techniques and poses that can help.  She taught Ryan how to hold me and rock me and encourage me and get me through each contraction.  I was beginning to think this whole birthing thing was something I could do.

Then CalmBirth.  Two days of positive birthing stories and practical things.  How to cope when things go right, and when things go wrong.  Relaxation and breathing techniques.  More things Ryan can try to support me through it, and when and how to go for pain relief.  I heard stories from people who had wonderful experiences, not horrible ones.  I began to hope.  I began to hope that I could get through this, it wouldn’t kill me and it could actually be pretty amazing…

Now we’ve been home for a couple of days, and I’m slowly internalising what I learned.  And Jamie’s wish prompt came at just the right time.  This week is all about daring to believe.

I wish to dare to believe that we’re going to have an amazing birthing experience.

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23 responses to “Daring to believe

  1. As Kazari wishes for herself, so I wish for her also!

    blissings,
    mich

  2. As Kazari wishes for herself, I lovingly wish this for her also.

    I can’t wait to hear your miracle birth story.

    I was also petrified ……a long time ago now, and went on to have three gorgeous children, worth SOOOOOOOOOOO worth every second of delivery.

    I dare you to trust your own body and experience.

  3. You will be all right. 🙂 How sweet of your Ryan to be so supportive of your birthing process.

    As Kazari wishes for herself so I wish for her also.

  4. I won’t tell you bullshit either: it’s hell, it’s pain, but it is worth it! And what everyone says. is true, it’s all forgotten after you hold your baby in your arms. This is the beginning of a wonderful love story!
    A moment where even the angels fear to tread!
    So I wish you a wonderful birth experience and a joyful motherhood!

  5. Whatever pain you may endure it’s all worth it to hold that little bundle in your arms at the end of it! And just think of all the fun you’ll have sharing your birthing story. Remember – he who dares.. wins!

  6. As Kazari wishes for herself so I wish for her also.

    Blessed be

  7. As Kazari wishes for herself, so I wish for her also!

  8. As Kazari wishes for herself, I wish for her also.

  9. As Kazari wishes for herself so I wish for her in abundance.

    I have five children. Each one was an amazing, beautiful thing. Pain yes, but I hardly remember it now. All I remember is the wonderful. It can be done!

  10. As Kazari wishes for herself, so I emphatically wish for her also.

    Your experience will be wonderful!

  11. As Kazari wishes for herself, I so wish for her also. Blessed be

  12. As Kazari wishes for herself, so I wish for her also. May you have a beautiful birth experience. May it be so!

  13. Birthing is an amazing experience. My first child was difficult. I took the wrong breathing class and felt like I was hyperventilating the whole time. With my second, I took a totally different type of breathing class and what a difference it made! The breathing was calm; quite like meditation. Wonderful! As you wish for yourself today, I wish for you also.

  14. As Kazari wishes for herself, so I wish for her also!

  15. As Kazari wishes for herself, so do I also wish for her with all my heart!

    You can do this; it will be more beautiful than any experience you’ve imagined!
    I’ve done it 5 times over…..the pain leaves your memory the second you hold your child!

    Jennifer

  16. may your heart’s desire be granted

  17. As you wish for yourself, I so wish for you as well….

  18. As you wish for yourself, I lovingly wish for you also. Just to keep motivating you, the birth of my youngest daughter was wonderful. I had a large birthing room, the windows were open and a gorgeous breeze was blowing the curtains, I slept between the contractions. It was one of the most joyous days of my life.

  19. As Kazari wishes for herself, I wish for her also.
    Many blessings to you Mama! I affirm you will have a beautiful experience during your childbirth.
    One thing to keep in mind…if you try and keep your mouth and jaw relaxed it will also relax the opposite ends muscle as well. Something I learned during Doula training and have tested it during the birth of my second birth.
    All will be wonderful for you and your family 😀

  20. Great big wonderful wish! Many blessings to you… As Kazari so daringly wishes for herself, so I wish for her also.

  21. As Kazari wishes for herself, so I wish for her also. Blessings, Mama!

  22. As a reasonly recent mother of two (they are 5 and 3) I can look back at childbirth and say … it’s only the beginning. When you are pregnant it is kind of hard to see further forward than the birth. Everything is focussed on that weird, painful, hopefully awesome-in-its-way experience of becoming a mother. But once you have debriefed about those hours to your partner, family, friends, every other mother you come across … once you have overlaid those memories with all the other stuff: the little hands clutching yours, the sleepless nights, the first smile, the ‘possets’ ie vomiting … ok I have lost the thread of my sentence here. What I’m saying is, well, there is other stuff coming that will make the birth itself seem a bit less dramatic. I hope you have a great experience, from here until your kids are the ones having to wipe up the drool.

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