So you met this guy, and ohmigoodness he’s hot, and he’s funny and adventurous – he must be, he’s a climber! After a few sweet chats at the water cooler, or the coffee shop (or wherever you do these things) he finally gets around to asking you out – well, sort of. He asks if you’d like to go climbing with him.
What’s a girl to do? If you already climb, don’t worry, wig at Pimpin and Crimpin has got the guide you need. His advice is wear as little as possible. This will automatically make the guy drive and do all the carrying. Then get him to buy all the drinks afterwards. After all, there are so few climber girls out there, you can’t lose… right?
If you’ve never climbed before, the prospect can be a little daunting. You don’t want to get yourself killed, but it would be nice to survive with your dignity intact as well. So here’s my advice for non-climbers on a climbing date:
- Don’t pretend you know what you’re doing, especially if he asks if you know how to belay. This covers the don’t-get-yourself-killed point. I’m hoping I don’t need to say this, but I have a friend who faked her way into a dental hygienist position, so anything is possible, I guess. I think it’s more entertaining to pretend you can’t climb when you actually can. But that’s another story…
- Wear sensible shoes. I know it’s a date, but it’s going to involve walking through the bush to a cliff. You are going to feel ridiculous in sandals or flip flops. Cute, but ridiculous. The best clothes for climbing are probably similar to what you’d wear to yoga – loose, comfortable and lots of room to move. If in doubt, ask him about the approach.
- Pay attention. This is another don’t-get-yourself-killed point. That rope is not just for looks. If there’s just two of you, you’re going to be belaying him and responsible for his safety, at least while he puts up a top rope for you. And for goodness sake, don’t stand on the rope.
- Quit worrying about looking classy. A climber, when climbing, won’t notice your make up and will laugh at your beautiful nails. The best way to impress him is to get on the rock and commit – stop worrying about how big your arse looks in the harness, and figure out how to get up that wall. The sexiest thing you can do at this point is try, fall off, come down and say “lemme try that again! I know I can get it now!”
- After climbing drinks. If you don’t like going to the pub looking scruffy, its worth putting a change of clothes in your bag. I agree with wig, let him buy. Not out of any sense of entitlement, but because on any date I think the person who asks should pay. But that’s just me.
p.s. I got Ryan to read this over, just because I didn’t want to make any hardcore climbing mistakes. His one suggestion was ‘if you’re belaying him, try not to get distracted by the view’.